MLGVILLE, Primoria – In a surprise move earlier today, Emperor Adam signed an Imperial Decree declaring Memes to be the official state religion of the Empire of Adammia. From now on, all Adammic citizens will be required to worship a meme of their choice at least twice per day.
Plans have been announced to create Meme Temples across the Empire. Each Province is to have a temple devoted to a different meme. In Tytannia, Governor’s Residence is now the Temple of GabeN, where citizens will be able to pray to the Lord and Saviour of the PC Master Race in the hopes of receiving dank CS:GO skins.
The Primoria Imperial Observatory has been renamed the Temple of Mr Skeltal. Here, citizens will be able to
upvote in 5 seconds pray for healthy bones and lots of calcium. Meanwhile, the dustbin in Maternia (seriously there’s nothing exciting in the entire province) is now the Temple of John Cena. Watertopia is to host a temple for Doge, whilst Myway will be home to a temple for Shrek.
In order to enforce the new laws, the Adammic Army has recruited a new Meme Inquisition squad. This team of FaZe Clan members armed with AWPs will be noscoping anybody found to be worshipping false, heretical memes such as “Damn Daniel”. In a post on the MicroWiki Forums, the Emperor suggested that there could be a “crusade” against different religions by Memers. When this line of rhetoric was challenged, being described as “medieval” by some, the Emperor responded by saying he can do whatever he wants with his micronation.
However, not everyone in Adammia is convinced. A citizen who asked to remain anonymous filed a lawsuit at the Grand Court of Adammia claiming that the decree infringed upon their rights under Article XII of the Supreme Directive. The Judge of the Grand Court (who, coincidentally, is also the Emperor) ruled that the decree was lawful based on his interpretation. The Ruling Council met this afternoon and raised no objections to the decree, because when have they ever opposed the Emperor on literally anything?
That is all for now. Praise memes, and long live the Empire!
UPDATE: April Fools!