Labour Unveils 2017 Manifesto

Adam I, Editor

ADAMSVILLE, Primoria – Yesterday evening, the Labour Party unveiled its second manifesto. Last year, a bare bones manifesto was launched which contained only two policies. This year, the party nominated Sir Paul McKenna to be in charge of policy drafting, and he sent the following manifesto to us:

-Suspend all individual contributions until such time as the budget requires boosting.

-Double the price of wine from 5p to 10p

-End the practice of free wine being drunk in Tytannia. All wine to be at the above price.

-Shut down all Adammic public schools and put the money saved into the Adammic state school system.

-Update the photos of Maternia on Microwiki

-Scrap the defence budget and leave it to the UK government. Savings can go towards a Labour Day celebration which would be a compliment to Foundation Day sometime in summer.

Some analysis and comparison with the Liberal manifesto: contrary to their party’s name, Labour have clearly adopted a more fiscally conservative stance than the Liberals. Their first pledge, perhaps their most eye-catching, is to suspend contributions until extra funds are needed. This suggests a more ad-hoc, case-by-case, asset-based budgeting strategy, as opposed to the Liberals who operate on a traditional income-based strategy. This goes hand-in-hand with the fact that Labour have a much lower list of spending proposals. Over the years, cultural events such as Foundation Day have often been the main focus of Labour and Moderate public spending plans, as opposed to the more imperialist Liberals who also like to include defence spending and funding for the space programme. The much larger budgets endorsed by the Liberals explains their preference for a constant source of income.

Next we come to the pledge to increase the cost of wine. This is presumably a minimum alcohol pricing policy, similar to the one due to be used in Scotland, aimed at Capital Brewery. Capital, despite its ailing profits in recent quarters, has been reluctant to step up its recommended “price” (in order to avoid UK licencing laws, wine is technically given away for free, and all payments are in fact optional donations). Compared to UK prices – usually around £8-£10 per bottle – Capital’s price of 5p per bottle is clearly undervalued, and it seems reasonable to expect that a price hike would not affect sales as they would still be massively undercutting the British market. Therefore, this could give a boost to Capital’s balance sheet, a boost to the GDP, and a small boost in tax revenue – however, it would nowhere near offset the drop in income from regular temporary suspensions of the Contributions Scheme.

The policy regarding schools funding puzzled us, as Adammia does not have a schools system. We asked McKenna for a comment, and he said, “That was just a bit of ideological rhetoric. Always good for a manifesto however meaningless!” It seems that this point was supposed to be something of an ideological marker rather than a concrete policy.

The policy of updating photos of Maternia (MicroWiki is mentioned, but it can be assumed that other sources such as the national website would be included) is probably the most low-key part of the manifesto. The fact that both the residents of Maternia are National Election candidates suggests that this is not a localist electioneering strategy, as there would be no extra votes to be won there – the policy seems to be quite innocent in this regard.

The final part about redirecting the defence budget into cultural celebrations fits in with the prevailing theme in both Labour and Moderate manifestos over the past few years which we already discussed.

The Moderate Party is expected to publish its manifesto soon. With polling day now only six days away, we will soon be carrying out candidate interviews. We also intend to carry out pre-election analysis of each candidate’s chances, the usual live polling day coverage as the results come in, and some post-election results analysis.

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